Obama Apologizes for the 3 Pirate Deaths!

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Posted by: Laer
April 24th 2009
White House Issues Clarification On Somali Attacks

The White House has issued a clarification on its stated policy regarding operations in Somalia related to the activities of pirates, and apologized for the recent incident in which three pirates were killed.

White House press secretary Robert Gibbs confirmed that the Navy had misunderstood President Obama’s orders, resulting in the unfortunate death of three working class, teenage pirates and a probable deterioration in how pacifists and life-long America-haters may feel about America.

Gibbs stated that a careful review of audiotapes of a conversation between the president and the Secretary of Navy proved the president did not say, “I authorize ATTACKS on the pirates,” but rather, “I authorize A TAX on the pirates.”

Gibbs said that as a result of the missunderstanding, the president has issued a formal apology, which will be delivered to Somalia as soon as someone finds a Somali government official to deliver it to. Gibbs also confirmed that the president has signed a new excutive order, ruling that 95 percent of Somalis will now receive a tax cut.
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